


let's do some living after we die

by designatedheart (coffeewordangel)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Afterlife, Alternate Universe - Ghosts, Car Accidents, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:33:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27291250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeewordangel/pseuds/designatedheart
Summary: A small ghost story for halloweenBaekhyun and Chanyeol figure out the afterlife together
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 5
Kudos: 33





	let's do some living after we die

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be honest, idek what this is besides unrelenting fluff

"I hate it here."

"Do you?" Chanyeol asks gently, as though Baekhyun hasn't expressed a similar sentiment almost daily for 20 years. 

Baekhyun scowls and kicks the fallen leaves. His foot passes through them just as it always does. "Yes. I do."

"I don't know. It's not so bad," Chanyeol replies mildly. He notices a chubby faced, wide-eyed baby watching them and makes funny faces at him until the baby chortles happily, blowing spit bubbles back at him. 

Baekhyun tries not to smile, but can't help himself. Sometimes children can see them, babies always can, and Chanyeol is adorable with them. He looks at the park, takes in the bright leaves carpeting the ground, the mothers with their coffees and bundled up toddlers, and sighs. 

"Okay. It could be worse," he admits, reaching out to take Chanyeol's hand. 

Chanyeol smiles as warm as sunshine and kisses Baekhyun's forehead. "I don't care where I am if I have you."

Baekhyun ducks his head and grins. "You make being dead almost worth it." 

He means it. Baekhyun doesn't know if he believes in soulmates but if he did, Chanyeol would be his without question. Even if Chanyeol is technically 14 years older than him and Baekhyun was only 7 when Chanyeol died. Thinking about that usually makes his head hurt. And his heart. 

"I'm glad you found me," Baekhyun adds softly. 

Chanyeol pulls him in for a hug and a soft kiss. "I don't know what I did before you showed up, sweetheart."

"Obviously you just waited for the joy that is my presence," Baekhyun replies as lightly as he can. He doesn't like to think of the 12 years Chanyeol haunted their park alone. 

Chanyeol just chuckles. "What else would I have done?"

Chanyeol's hand feels almost warm when he takes Baekhyun's and pulls him toward the small duck pond in the center of the park. He sits at the edge and pulls Baekhyun into his lap, wrapping his arms firmly around his waist. Baekhyun hums contentedly. 

"Do you ever think about her?" He asks softly, playing with Chanyeol's fingers. 

"Not really," Chanyeol replies, shaking his head and resting his chin on Baekhyun's shoulder. 

Baekhyun has heard the story many times. He's asked Chanyeol to tell it again and again, each time angry anew at his girlfriend who saved herself by running off, leaving Chanyeol to bleed out. 

"If she had called the cops you would still be alive," Baekhyun whispers fiercely. "She just left you."

"She was young and scared," Chanyeol replies softly. "Her boyfriend had just been stabbed in front of her. Don't judge her too harshly."

"I hope she spends every day hating herself for her actions," Baekhyun says waspishly. 

"I might still have died," Chanyeol points out calmly. 

Baekhyun twists in his lap and presses a hand to Chanyeol's stomach, under his shirt, where the knife slid into him. The wound is there, stagnant, bloodless except for one night a year. 

"But it wouldn't have been alone," he says, eyes tearing up again at the thought of Chanyeol alone and scared, aware he was dying as the blood ran from him. 

Chanyeol sighs and kisses the tears from the corners of Baekhyun's eyes. "Don't upset yourself, baby. Please. It was a long time ago and it truly doesn't bother me anymore."

Baekhyun's own death date is just days away and he always becomes more fractious this time of year. He carries his rage with him always, the injustice at dying so young, but near his death date it bubbles to the surface. 

"I don't understand how you're so forgiving," he grumbles, turning back around to watch the ducks glide serenely across the water. "You're a saint. I would have haunted her ass."

Chanyeol laughs. "As if we have a choice where we haunt," he teases. "I was angry at first, I'm not a saint, but I had a long time to think and come to terms with it."

Baekhyun exhales in a huff and slumps back against Chanyeol's chest. "Mine is coming."

"I know," Chanyeol replies sympathetically. 

Of course he does. He remembers everything about Baekhyun, every little detail Baekhyun has ever shared. It makes Baekhyun feel safe, like the shards of himself are wrapped up securely within Chanyeol. 

"How do I find peace like you?" Baekhyun asks bitterly, voice barely audible. "I'm still so angry. I'm always angry." 

Some days he thinks that's all that's left of him, rage and vengeance making up his disembodied form. If it weren't for Chanyeol and his steady, calm love he's sure that's all he would be. 

"I don't really know," Chanyeol says, words gentle and careful. "One day I just let go of all of it. I realized that as awful as it was, it led me to you and I could be happy if I let myself."

Baekhyun frowns. He feels weak, like he doesn't love Chanyeol enough or something. "Oh."

Chanyeol sighs and tucks Baekhyun's hair behind his ear. "I don't think there's a right or wrong way to do this, whatever this is. You have a right to be angry. You were dealt an unfair hand."

Baekhyun closes his eyes against hot tears. "I don't know why you put up with me."

"Because we're stuck here together," Chanyeol teases, poking at Baekhyun's ribs. 

"Oh really," Baekhyun says, turning in Chanyeol's lap and narrowing his eyes. 

He attacks Chanyeol's ribs with his slender fingers, digging in where he's ticklish. Chanyeol wheezes laughter and tries to curl up against the attack, long limbs flailing. He's beautiful. 

"Stop, stop," Chanyeol pleads through his laughter. "I'm with you because I love you."

Content that he's won, Baekhyun stops his attack and grins victoriously. "Good because same."

Chanyeol grins back at him, black hair messy and falling over his forehead. Baekhyun reaches out fondly and smooths it back. Sometimes the love he feels for this man drowns out all the anger within him and it feels like a benediction.

“Why does that man look weird?” 

Baekhyun didn’t even notice that they had company. A small girl is staring at him, pointing her little finger in his direction. She looks to be somewhere around 5 or 6, but he’s never been good at accurately guessing ages. The older girl with her, too young to be her mother - perhaps an older sister or babysitter, doesn’t even look up from her phone.

“I do not look weird,” Baekhyun mutters, affronted.

Chanyeol laughs and stands up, pulling Baekhyun up with him. “You’re wearing leather pants and a mesh shirt and a choker in the middle of the day. That might come off a little strange.”

Baekhyun pouts up at him. “You told me I look hot.”

“The hottest,” Chanyeol replies, lips twitching at the corners. 

“You asked me if I was an angel the first time you saw me,” Baekhyun points out with a glare as they put distance between themselves and the pond.

“I did. I should have asked if you were a devil instead. What kind of angel wears eyeliner?” Chanyeol teases.

Baekhyun narrows his eyes. “Eternity is a real long time to never get your dick sucked again,” he warns.

Chanyeol’s eyes go dark and he drags Baekhyun against him by the hips, squeezing his ass. “You took my breath away. I’ve never seen anyone prettier than you. Under that streetlight it looked like you were glowing.”

“You don’t need to breathe,” Baekhyun grumbles, somewhat mollified. 

“Which is good because you continue to take my breath away every day,” Chanyeol replies.

Baekhyun swats lightly at Chanyeol’s chest. “You’re so cheesy.”

Chanyeol laughs and kisses the corner of Baekhyun’s mouth. “I don’t think I used to be. I think it’s just you. You bring out my hopeless romantic.”

“As long as I’m special,” Baekhyun replies, only half joking. 

“I refuse to believe you didn’t have an army of admirers,” Chanyeol says dryly.

Baekhyun wrinkles his nose. “I was, uh, kind of a fuckboy? Yeah, there were a bunch of people who told me how hot or pretty I was. I didn’t have anyone who _knew_ me, though.” 

Maybe if he hadn’t died at 19 he would have eventually found someone to love him, would have settled down. He’ll never know now. It doesn’t make him melancholy anymore thinking of potential future partners. Not since Chanyeol took ownership of his heart, noncorporeal though it might be.

Chanyeol cups Baekhyun’s cheeks and smiles like he knows what’s going through his head. Perhaps he does. “Everything about you is beautiful to me, inside and out.”

“Even the bad parts?” Baekhyun asks quietly.

“Maybe especially the dark parts,” Chanyeol replies gently, deliberately changing the wording. “It’s your shadows that allow your brightness to shine.”

Baekhyun sighs and turns his face to kiss Chanyeol’s palm. “That’s a lovely metaphor and I don’t know if I agree with you, but I love that you see me that way.”

They spend the rest of the day hand in hand, wandering the edges of their confinement and chatting about inconsequential things. Baekhyun doesn’t test the boundaries anymore, but when he first arrived he threw himself against them in a rage, hoping he could make them bend. Every day the park feels less like a cage and more like home and he knows that has everything to do with Chanyeol. 

When night falls they head to the deteriorating gazebo hidden at the back of the park. They sleep there more often than not, curled up together on a pile of blankets someone left. Technically they probably don’t need to sleep any more than they need to breathe, but Baekhyun likes the routine of it, loves Chanyeol’s firm body wrapped securely around his own.

Tonight he rewards Chanyeol’s cheesy declarations by settling in his lap and grinding down against him. Baekhyun has stopped expecting sex with Chanyeol to become routine or boring. After 20 years he’s just as overwhelmed as he was their first night together. Chanyeol’s large palms still make him moan and his deep kisses still feel like the best drug.

Baekhyun digs out the single use packet of lube from the shallow pocket of his pants and hands it over. He never got a chance to use it or the condom that’s also there. He never actually made it to the club that night.

Chanyeol slicks his fingers and slides two of them into Baekhyun making his eyes cross from how good it feels. He doesn’t understand the afterlife, such as it is. Almost every night they use the lube, but every morning it’s there in his pocket again like it never left. He doesn’t even know if they need it or if it’s just one of those leftover behaviors from their time living. 

“God, you feel…” Chanyeol trails off like he can’t think of a word good enough for being inside Baekhyun.

“Yes,” Baekhyun hisses in agreement, rocking down on his length. 

No contest, Chanyeol is the biggest he’s ever taken, thick enough to make his eyes water at the stretch. He guesses maybe mindblowing sex is the least the universe owes him for ending his life so soon. It’s definitely delivered in the perfect form of Chanyeol: big dicked and soft hearted and beautiful like a sunrise and absolutely all Baekhyun's.

Baekhyun is the first man Chanyeol has ever been with. Apparently being gay in the 80s was all about repression and forcing himself to date women. As sad as that is, teaching Chanyeol how to fuck him was one of the most pleasurable experiences of Baekhyun’s life. Afterlife. Both. Chanyeol is a quick learner and eager to please and so receptive to positive feedback it makes Baekhyun’s head spin. 

After they’ve come, Chanyeol cleans them both up with a corner of the blanket that Baekhyun knows will be clean again in the morning and pulls the non-comestained majority of it over them. At night, wrapped up in Chanyeol’s firm embrace, is the only time Baekhyun feels truly warm. No matter what the season he’s always slightly cold. He figures that’s probably just part of being dead. 

“Love you,” Chanyeol rumbles sleepily into Baekhyun’s neck. 

“Love you too,” Baekhyun replies and he’s never meant anything more.

\---

Days pass as they always have, flowing into each other with little to differentiate one from the next. Before he’s ready, Baekhyun’s death day arrives. He knows what day it is the moment he wakes up, dread crawling up his throat.

Chanyeol knows too, but he doesn’t address it, choosing instead to cuddle Baekhyun against him for longer than usual. It helps curb the warring emotions in Baekhyun’s chest somewhat. At least he’s not alone today.

“Let’s swing,” Chanyeol suggests.

Usually they stay away from the play areas since children can see them, but it’s cold and drizzly and there’s a fog coating the ground. There’s unlikely to be anyone in the park today. Baekhyun nods and curls up against Chanyeol’s side as he leads him to the swingset.

There’s something about the little jump in his belly on the upswing that makes Baekhyun feel almost hopeful and free. It’s exactly what he needed today and of course Chanyeol knew best how to improve his mood if only temporarily, 

“Sometimes I wish I’d died in the morning so I could just get it over with,” Baekhyun murmurs some time later when Chanyeol has decided they should spend the rest of the day curled up together in the gazebo.

Chanyeol cuddles him a little closer. “I know what you mean,” he says. “The waiting is the worst part.”

Baekhyun winces slightly. He can feel the bruise forming on his torso, a dark livid imprint of a car grill. Chanyeol loosens his grip with a whispered apology. He guesses he’s lucky that getting hit so hard his internal organs were crushed didn’t leave his face disfigured. Maybe he’s vain, but having his face ruined for eternity would be unbearable.

It gets worse after the sun goes down, the pain almost blinding. The later it gets, the more he feels the tug toward the far side of the park near the street. He doesn’t want to go. Chanyeol squeezes his hand.

“We should head over,” he says as gently as he can. “You know what happens if you’re not there voluntarily.”

Baekhyun whimpers but nods his head. “Yeah, okay.”

The first few years he refused to follow the impulse to the place he died. When the time of his death came he was violently transported to the sidewalk where a drunk driver rammed into him, going too fast on wet streets to keep control of his vehicle. It was terrifying and awful, but Chanyeol taught him that going of his own free will hurt less. 

“You’re not alone,” Chanyeol whispers, kissing his forehead. “I’ll be right here. It’ll be over soon.”

Baekhyun nods and steps out of the park onto the sidewalk and waits. He doesn’t have to wait long before he sees the large SUV turn the corner too fast, wheels spinning out of control in a hydroplane. For the first time, Baekhyun keeps his eyes open for it.

He realizes he can see the wide-eyed terror of the driver as he gets closer and that he’s just a kid, no older than Baekhyun himself. Baekhyun understands in the moment of impact that the driver did not survive, that he’s forced to be here every year just like Baekhyun and Baekhyun just...lets go. 

All the rage and hatred that have filled him for decades dissipates into a kind of sorrow for both himself and the driver. There’s no deeper meaning here. It was a stupid accident, it wasn’t on purpose. Some kid made some shitty decisions that ended his life and Baekhyun’s and Baekhyun can’t find it in himself to hold on to his righteous anger anymore. Railing against his death hasn’t done a single thing for him. 

He looks behind him and sees the SUV wrapped around a lamp post before it shimmers and disappears. Ignoring Chanyeol’s soft call of his name, Baekhyun looks back to the street. It glistens, wet and golden under the streetlights and looks almost inviting.

Without thinking about it, Baekhyun steps off the sidewalk and onto the pavement. It’s warm, humid like summer, a soft heat that wraps around him. His eyes widen as he realizes he’s out of the park. 

A warm hand wraps around his own and squeezes. “You okay?” Chanyeol asks.

Baekhyun looks up at him, mouth open slightly. “Is this real?”

“Yeah. Feels pretty real to me,” Chanyeol replies with a fond smile, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“We can leave?”

“If you want to, yeah.” Chanyeol just watches him, patiently waiting for Baekhyun to decide, like he’ll be okay with whatever that decision will be.

“Where does it go?” Baekhyun asks, looking in the distance where the road seems to almost glow.

Chanyeol shrugs. “I don’t know. Someplace good, I think. Can you feel it?”

He can. It took a moment because at first he thought the feeling of home and warmth and joy was just him reacting to Chanyeol like always. Baekhyun realizes Chanyeol already knew about this. “How long have you been able to leave?”

“A few years,” Chanyeol replies. 

“You stayed for me?” 

Chanyeol chuckles and kisses Baekhyun firmly. “Now why would I take a journey into the unknown without you? Wherever this road ends up, I wouldn’t be happy if you weren’t there.”

Love swamps Baekhyun, dampening his eyes and making his lower lip quiver. He thought he loved Chanyeol before with his whole being, but the anger kept parts of himself at bay. Now that he’s empty of it, love has rushed into the empty space like water undammed. 

“I…” Emotion chokes his voice and he can’t say any of the things he wants to. He settles for, “I love you so fucking much.”

Chanyeol, patient, loving Chanyeol who set aside his own escape to be next to Baekhyun, of course understands all the things Baekhyun can’t say. He presses their foreheads together. “Me too. Are you ready to go?”

Baekhyun nods and doesn’t look back at the park that’s been their home for so long. It was only home because Chanyeol was there. “Yes,” he says decisively, smiling and squeezing Chanyeol's hand. “Let’s go.”


End file.
